By Susan M. Graham, Certified Elder Law Attorney, Senior Edge Legal, Boise, Idaho
In a small town in Idaho, a remarkable couple – my Aunt Gertrude and her husband, Jim, lived a life filled with love and shared memories. From their childhood days as neighbors to their experiences during World War II, their bond grew stronger. As they settled into civilian life, they cherished their friendships and planned regular gatherings with friends.
Aunt Gertrude and Uncle Jim, in their 60s, found themselves reflecting on their mortality after attending a neighbor’s funeral together. Inspired by the event, they altered their monthly “Bridge Night” with friends for an evening of discussion about their own wishes. This heartfelt conversation sparked a remarkable decision: Gertrude and Jim chose to prearrange and pay for their funeral arrangements in advance. Every detail, from the flowers to the songs, prayers, and even the attire they wished to be buried in, was thoughtfully considered and meticulously planned.
The act of prearranging their funerals became an extraordinary gift to their family. Like many families, Gertrude and Jim’s three children didn’t always see eye to eye. However, by spelling out every aspect of their final wishes, they ensured that potential conflicts were diffused. The burden of decision-making during an already emotionally challenging time was lifted from their children’s shoulders, allowing their children to focus on supporting one another and embracing the memories of their parents. Their prearrangements provided an opportunity for a more personalized and meaningful farewell, reflecting the unique essence of their lives.
The story of my Aunt Gertrude and Uncle Jim’s prearranged farewells serves as an inspiration. Their deep love and consideration for their family led them to make an important decision that would shape their final moments. By choosing to arrange their funerals in advance, they ensured that their wishes were respected, financial burdens were eased, conflicts were avoided, and their legacy would be honored through a personalized and meaningful farewell. Their selfless act of love stands as a testament to the enduring power of family bonds and the importance of thoughtful planning for the future and their legacy of memories for their family.
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